DIY Healing: What Helped Me

I had a thought that I wanted to put together a list of the stuff that helped me heal. I know I will leave a lot out, because some of it was done due to experiences I had, people I talked to, and I can’t remember them all.

START LOOKING INSIDE

The first thing, though, was not being afraid to look at what hurt me. Once I confessed to my friend Maureen that I’d been molested, it was like the plug was pulled out and things started to flow. Sometimes the process and feelings would flow faster than other times, and sometimes I’d get a clog, but that initial acknowledgement and confession was the catalyst for all the change to come. After all, you can’t change your life if you’re living in hiding or denial from it. That first step is looking it in the face, even if it hurts like hell to do so. Get curious. Ask yourself why you feel or think a certain thing. It’ll lead you to feelings and stories you need to work through in order to find relief.

GO WITH GOD

The second thing was Source/God/The Goddess/Jehovah/Krishna/The Great Pumpkin – whatever you wish to call The Powers that Be or The Divine. I believe in God/The Universe. I believe in one great soul-power over us all. And for a time, what helped me heal was pursuing God by going to church and praying my guts out. It helped to be in a like-minded community, like the church camp where I was spending my summers, and the youth group I belonged to at home. Drawing closer to God gave me a sense of support and strength.

Furthermore, pretty much all the other tools and steps I took had this belief in God playing in the background.

I won’t get into the reasons for my break-up with Catholicism (and I’m not throwing shade on anybody out there who is Catholic). But suffice it to say, I disagreed with church dogma and the actions of the church as far as pedophile priests are concerned, and no longer felt like that religion was true for me.

I turned to studying different religions like Hinduism and Judaism, but what really felt like home for me was Buddhism. And the beauty of Buddhism is that you can be Buddhist AND Christian, Jewish, Hindu, or whatever other religion you might belong to. This is because Buddhism is more of a way of living, not a set of religious dogma. Buddhism provides a pathway for an individual to get to know himself deeply, and by knowing the self, we come to know the Divine within us and within the world.

Buddhism doesn’t demand that you believe anything that doesn’t resonate as 100% true in your heart, even if Buddha himself said it. If it doesn’t ring true for you way down deep in the very core of you where you cannot lie to yourself, then don’t believe it.

I just love that. It’s open, tolerant, loving, and personal. It allows for the fact that every human being on earth experiences this world in a different way. I don’t get how religions expect one set of religious rules and dogma to hold for each and every individual on the earth.

One size fits all? No thank you, I like tailoring where I can get it.

Develop some kind of spiritual practice. If it’s prayer for you, then do that. If it’s meditation, then do that. If it’s journaling or reading the Bible, then do that. But do something to commune with Source, with The Divine. You are going to need it more ways than you could ever conceive. And it’s going to be more rewarding and more beautiful than anyone could ever describe to you.

GET IT IN WRITING

Anyway. Along with the Buddhism came the spiritual writings on the website Elephant Journal (elephantjournal.com). The site boasts a variety of topics and writers, but what helped me the most were the articles on Buddhist teachings and the posts on healing from trauma. I cannot express to you how many of the writers on the site helped me make significant progress with my pain and suffering, with my feelings and thoughts. Their brave words inspired me in part to set up this blog, in the hopes that some words of mine might help someone the way those writers on Elephant Journal helped me.

Another fantastic resource close to my heart is Danielle LaPorte (daniellelaporte.com). Some of you out there in cyberspace may have heard of Danielle, she is a writer and public speaker on spirituality, creativity, inspiration, stepping into your own power, and getting in touch with your Soul. She is a Light worker, she is wickedly smart and funny, she has an elegance and sass that amaze me as an aspiring writer.

She has a video course offered through Udemy called The FireStarter Sessions which is … incredible. I do not have the words for how life-changing that course can be if you allow it, if you’re brave enough to embrace it.

Her blog posts are also thought-provoking and good for starting a path toward epiphany and internal transformation. She maintains the highest standards of personal integrity and authenticity – she is the real deal in the wellness/spirituality industry that is full of charlatans and quacks.

Another fantastic website I follow because of the awesome Buddhist-inspired articles is TinyBuddha.com. Again – people of many walks of life, just like in Elephant Journal, write about their lives and how Buddhist ideas and principles helped them in various life situations. Fantastic resource that makes seemingly complex principles more approachable and do-able.

Other books I’ve found extraordinarily helpful and moving:

Your Sacred Self by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Wishes Fulfilled by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (this was a biggie for me in accepting that I am a divine creation of God, and therefore beloved)

Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously by Osho (this one will tilt everything you ever thought about your world on an angle, and force you to think really hard about what you believe)

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle – again, this one will rock your world and blow your mind wide open. The truth will resonate like bells ringing in your heart.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron – how to deal with the not-so-lovely side of life and your feelings. You have a choice in how you think, act, feel, and believe. Use it. Pretty much anything Pema Chodron writes is golden. She finds a way to write and relate these Buddhist principles to regular, everyday life so that you really understand what she’s saying and can readily identify the wisdom in her message.

Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness by Lynne Forrest – this one is huge, too. It forces you to get really intimate with your feelings and thoughts, drilling down to the core so that you can start healing. This one was recommended to me by my life coach, Summer Engman, and it was a HUGE help.

White Hot Truth by Danielle LaPorte – this book. This book, y’all. This book takes you through every blessing and every pitfall on a spiritual journey. It’s honest, raw, poetic, elegant, raunchy, and full of such yummy soulful goodness I can’t even talk about it without geeking out. Her chapter on suffering and pain affected me on a level so deep I couldn’t even cry. I felt emotions I couldn’t name. It was a huge affirmation for me, that I’m on the right path and the entire book might be summed up in this quote from it: “Ask your soul what it sees.” –Danielle LaPorte

Jessi Kneeland – you can find her on the internet or on FaceBook. Jessie is a warrior goddess crusader for helping people (especially women) heal their body image issues. She gets into the core of the issue – going into the feelings, trauma, thoughts, and social media messages that cause women to hate their bodies in the first place. If you’re tired of hating your body and tired of finding only the shallowest relief in bullshit Fitspiration and Thinspiration messages, then give Jessi a go. I promise you won’t come out unchanged.

These are just the major tools that helped me. I hope some of them are of benefit to you. If you keep reaching out, keep moving forward, you’ll be guided to the tools you really need in order to find healing – you’ll find the help you need as long as you sincerely seek it.

Last little tidbit for you, Gentle Reader:

And all I can do is take one step at a time Trusting the path that unfolds ahead of me Knowing I'm not meant to see where it leads

I'm only meant to experience it Whatever it is and wherever it goes

And it's about feeding my faith more than my fears, even when they are all I can hear.

-Kate Rose